PosterNutbag

i just washed a white tank with a load of darks.

that's right, laundering instructions, fuck off!

my horoscope for the day....

Your energy's like a charged battery. And you're cute! You're like a cute battery!

when i was young, i recall a time when my parents took a trip north and i stayed with my grandparents who reside in the opposite direction. over breakfast the local morning news was on tv and i remember glancing up as the national weather map was revealed. written in the north-eastern united states was the word "nice".

needlesstosay i was intrigued at the implications of such a forecast.

so imagine my delight when i am plowing through a series of fark articles and i see the forecast for Perth, Australia in a little box. it features a picture of a sun with a cloud and reads "fine at first".

beautiful.

my side hurts a little bit and has for a while. likely, i pulled something during one of my terribly rigorous & frequent workouts (grrr...i am a brute!). a pulled muscle would certainly make sense. it's not like i hurt bad-- barely noticeable is more like it. even so, i have totally convinced myself that this odd side pain is a symptom of something more serious. in fact, it must be major internal malfunctions-- maybe my kidneys or spleen-- all kinds of things could be going wrong! worse, it happens all the time-- just today a coworker's appendix ruptured. (ack!!) all this and the odd side pain seems to vary in noticeability and intensity depending on how much i focus on it-- which is, of course, always........ it is with this brilliant thought-pattern that my mind eagerly concludes what it has suspected for 27 long years: i am going to die.

knowing this, i must make a simple request: tell me many nice things while you still can. (please) ooooooooh and... send medication. (i think the type required is more than obvious people)

aaahhhhh...... nostalgia!

.................... consider this my confession. i watch some bad tv.

the simpsons
family guy
blow out (that jonathon is a crier)
entourage
the comeback (eh.)
best week ever
the soup
live with regis & kelly
trading spouses (so cheesie)

uhhh.. yea.. so a few nights ago, we had a wicked thunderstorm (i was home alone, adding to the trauma) and the telephone line went awry. first the whole plug-unplug routine was attempted without success. then a couple of days passed with no magical, spontaneous solution. and finally the phone company was notified. day four: i am home from work waiting for the repair guy to show within my designated window of time (a 4 hour span of time)......... now i know there are seinfeld episodes devoted to this, but bother! this is lame. i can't believe i am actually using my vacation time for this?

in other news, i was laughed at* by my town tonight in a meeting addressing parking problems. admittedly, my comments were delivered at an inappropriate time (in my defense, i became so enraged that i was never called on that i kept my hand up in spite-- biting me in the ass later), ......... but all that aside, what i said was right on the money. so, anyway, fuck them and fuck this town. i hope your town isn't filled with arrogant, self-absorbed, bastards.........................

plus, i was thinking... isn't a sign that reads "posted no trespassing" a bit redundant?



* maybe "laughed at" is inaccurate but it felt that way

..... but seriously, not safe for work people.

i looovve yoouu rrrebecccccaaa!