PosterNutbag

for you, reagan's youth (or what was)...............


the diary of an unborn child*




*i totally stole this from the good person over at cancelthat. he is way cooler than me.

so today and tomorrow i am attending a two-day "girl's circle training" workshop, along with 50 other human service professionals from all over the state. the purpose? (supposedly) we are learning new skills in facilitating effective gender-specific groups for at-risk teens. of course, a training of this nature includes plenty of the nauseating participation.

imagine: the whole room gets counted off to make smaller groups. i am paired with 3 other strange women and given a discussion worksheet, a "talking stick", and told that we must go at it for one hour, afterwhich we will finally be able to lunch. the whole event is quite a groaner. (i can't believe i am in this field)

at first my group is very reserved-- answering the worksheet questions as "safely" as possible. we share and move on-- progressing thru the curriculum faster than the other small groups. when we reach a close we all sit there silent. candidly one woman asks whether the others think, as a facilitator, that sharing personal experiences enhance girls' learning within a group. i offer up a respectable textbook answer and then one woman decides to weigh in.

"i've been through it growing up, and as a teenager, and all. i mean, i've lived it and i'm not afraid to lay it out on the line. i share my experience with them and bring up things that they aren't gonna talk about. because it should be talked about. because, you know, it might save them from making the mistake. cause there's a lot of misinformation out there and, like, the media says "bigger the dick the better" and some girls, well, we aren't all made for that-- i mean, different dicks fit different vaginas--- no seriously, i mean, this is the stuff that these girls need to hear. there is too much misinformation and it hurts us women. i mean, my husband and i had so many problems when we were married cause of this-- he was just hurting me and i had to learn that that was ok and these girls have to learn that it is ok. we don't all need, you know, a big dick."

so a while back one of my work friends mentioned that she was working on a project for her master's program and that this girl, "so-and-so", had been real helpful with information. then she asked if i knew "so-and-so". it was one of those times where the name sounded so very familiar yet i could not begin to place it. generally that means i went to high school with said person (since, you know, i made the conscious decision to block those years out). after searching the internal files, i mustered up some kind of visual on this chick, and nodded in agreement that i thought i knew her.

fast forward to this past weekend. my work friend just graduated with her master's, thusly i was invited to an "open-house" party to celebrate. it just so happens that she is the only work friend i have, so i felt obligated to pop in and say cheers. arriving at her condo-apartment, i noted the multiple cars on the street. needlesstosay, i knew NO ONE there, with the exception of the work friend. it was a bit overwhelming, since everyone else in attendance were so intimately friends that they had invited their parents along. there was even some kids running around. the work friend did her best to introduce me 'round but my presence was soon nothing of consequence to the party-goers.

since it is an open house party, people are coming and going. i begin review proper etiquette for excusing myself-- attempting to decipher the socially acceptable norms of appropriate time spent at a party. imagine my surprise when some girl approaches me with this big smile and exclaims how good it is to see me. she launches into all the necessary small-talk bs. she tells me about her family. she asks where i went to college & inquires as to what i'm doing now. she even has several other updates on people i should know ...... i've never seen this fucking girl in my life!

i ejected from that scene as quickly as possible.........

yea. i quickly realized that no one cared about my office-move. rightly so. it is a boring topic.

i've spent most of my morning attempting to put the fix on a jammed stapler. in the process i have broken my scissors and one of my very sexy long nails, plus i inflicted some injury on my front teeth (using your teeth as pliers is never a good idea, i know). all this to no avail--- the stapler is still jammed like it's life depended on it. fucking thing.

anyhow, as you can tell, procrastination is still the order of business around these parts. we visited our new digs yesterday only to discover a mere one eletrical plug, phone jack, and internet line per office. this would be no problem 'cept that i will totally have an office mate, as well as the need for lamps (overhead lights give me the willies) and music. i forsee cords galore! luckily, due to the mates part time work status, i will have an inital go at setting up the office space.

packing tip #2- do not get sidetracked by broken office supplies.

back from vt and back to work.... it totally sucks *grumble, grumble*... worse, our office is being relocated and we must be packed by thursday. i hate packing. i don't even know where to begin (evidenced here by procrastination). most of me wants to throw everything away and start new, but who's to say what i'll need and what i won't need in the new digs. still, i'm leaning on the side of toss-outs. i can't imagine i'll be crying over tossed items, since i can never find what i need anyway.

well.... the vaca was nice-- relaxing, fun, jazzy, and too short. i swear, the thought of returning to work made me want to cry. maybe if i smoked just a bit more pot, i could have played the no-show game without the consequence of guilt. *sigh*

packing tip #1- do not pack your clock first.

this marks my first vacation EVAH in which the laptop became a traveling companion. seems i have some important online business to take care of (which i should totally being doing now) that was not finished prior to leaving town. procrastination has always been my bestest friend, though, and online distractions are where it's at. plus, burlington, vermont is my bitch, and i may just never return home----- thus making the need for completed work null and void.

why a vacation to vermont? seems we are guests of the week-long discover jazz festival (complete with hotel accommodations & show tickets)... although, truly, i see that as a secondary reason for the visit. mostly, i just dig the state-- its green mountains, scenic highways, and liberal thinkers.

to be honest, jazz ain't my bag. i dunno.... i just can't get my head around it or something. don't get me wrong, i completely appreciate it as a form of musical expression. and i understand it's importance in history. but that said, it would not be my first choice for listening pleasure. so, in a way, i am totally getting dragged to these musical performances. and they are a major interuption of my vacation time.

last night was the first of such interuptions, in which the discover jazz big band recreated miles' sketches of spain. totally cool-- even i admit that-- but the lady seated behind me ruined what little enjoyment i got from said performance. by the end, i wanted to turn around & rumble. seems she felt it necessary to talk throughout the entire show, as well as laugh just a little too loud at the conductor's jokes (jokes that really warranted no more than a smirk). sounds shallow of me, i guess, but truly she deserved a knuckle sandwich.

surely you've attended concerts only to be seated by annoying audience members?

i don't come here much anymore................................. do you?