PosterNutbag

so. thanksgiving came and went. for me it included no turkey but rather ham & chicken with mashed potatoes and macaroni & cheese finished with the usual stuffing and shit. all real. all rrreal good! and this year, the holiday included lots of family. a couple of aunts & my impressionable 16 year old cousin joined my immediate clan for the feast and then stuck around for a couple of days.

in other family news, my brother recently bought a house downtown. it's a great pad with lots of space but..... every fucking room needs to be painted. badly. and he has no furniture. it's been a fiasco! needlesstosay, my back/shoulder hurts and i have paint marks on my skin that scrubbing won't remove. he owes me. big.

and also....... christmas seems to have officially started in my neck of the woods. all thanksgiving decor is down and gone. white lights, wreaths, and lawn ornaments light up the neighboring houses. in a couple more weekends, it will be time to hop in the car and drive around to the places i like best (read: the tacky-er the better!). one house even has a live nativity scene. (a house. that a family lives in. with a live nativity. in their yard!) now, that's hysterical!

meanwhile, i'm still putting the finishing touches on my dead in 2005 prediction list. if you're not working on yours, i can't understand why.......... but, damn, 20 is tough!

posted this over at the alliance, but it occured to me that not all of you are down with the qca. of course, i wouldn't deny you any smiles, especially now, around the holidays and such........

anyhow, i quite happily bring you this little nugget of goodness ------double entendres a'plenty!

just remember: don't forget to get your twangers out and play with your balls!

today i snuck out of work early-- literally, leaving through the back door all incognito like. i hope to do the same tomorrow. who can work productively when there is food to be prepared and then consumed? but mostly i am so looking forward to some time off. i plan to sleep in daily, eat lots of mom-made macaroni & cheese, hang out with some in-town fam, and knock at least a couple of things off the "to do" list. maybe i'll even put up the christmas tree? ehh, maybe not.

what i do hope to accomplish this long weekend is the creation of a christmas wish list for my folks and various other family members. thus far, i have gotten nowhere fast. i can think of virtually nothing i want. (i mean, i'm completely convinced that i need TiVo and an ipod to survive the upcoming year, but somehow i don't think these are parental gift options) perhaps i should request a tobias wall clock.

oooooh and i've just discovered mmw playing at the 9:30 Club this weekend. hmmm.... perhaps? perhaps! perhaps.

meanwhile, i am still fighting off a vicious cold-like bug that has me all phlemed up. i've been nyquil's bitch for at least a week and it's current effects are causing my mind to move at a much slower pace than normal. (scarey indeed) bedtime is imminent. 'night all and good eats.

this gem, courtesy of angry gaijin, was just too good to pass up posting....

This is Leroy's homework assignment: He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence.

1. Hotel - I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the ho tel everybody.
2. Dictate - My girfriend say my dic tate good.
3. Catacomb - I saw Don King at da fight the other night. Man, somebody get that cat a comb.
4. Foreclose - If I pay alimony today, I got no money fore close.
5. Rectum - I had two Cadillac's, but my bitch rec tum both.
6. Disappointment - My parole officer tol' me if I miss dis appointment they gonna send me back to the joint.
7. Penis - I went to the doctors and he handed me a cup and said pe nis.
8. Israel - Tito try to sell me a Rolex. I say, "man, it look fake." He say, "Bullshit, that watch is rael".
9. Undermine - There's a fine lookin' ho living in the apartment under mine.
10. Acoustic - When I was little, my uncle bought me a cou stic and took me to the pool hall.
11. Iraq - When we got to the poolhall, I tol' my uncle "i raq, you break".
12. Stain - My mother-in-law stopped by and I axed her, "Do you plan on sta in for dinner?"
13. Fortify - I axed this ho on da street, "how much?" she say "forti fy."
14. Income - I just got in bed wif da ho and in come my wife.

this weekend i purchased a mag that appealed to both my girlieness and intellect. i should also mention, i had never heard of it until a trip to borders. anyhow, the article on the demise of my old fav mag, Sassy brought me back to the good ol' days when i was so cool to be dreaming of thurston moore, evan dando, and kurt cobain.

in other girlieness topics, i have been watching that show desperate housewives. it's so so.... but i think the show i should be watching is boston legal, as it stars the ever-kinky james spader and the infamous bill shatner. seems like this would have to be a winning combo.

so, anyhow.... i'm not ready for the holidays....... and i am defintly not ready to see holiday decor on people's homes. that shouldn't even be legal. how does one celebrate thanksgiving properly with christmas garb hanging about? doesn't the garlands and white lights curb your appetite? it would mine.

did i mention that someone i work with has a crush on me? -- and she's a girl!

so i'm feeling the stress from work. the giveaway? i found myself listening to soft rock today in my car------ and singing along in complete enjoyment. it's just one of those odd things about me (there are MANY). when i'm feeling overwhelmed and stressed, i am comforted by the soft rock.

meanwhile, i have been working on my 2005 death prediction list. 20 have been requested, but at the moment, i'm hard pressed to think of 10.

you know, i was thinking..... i have never had pop tarts actually toasted, as kellog's intended. i wonder about their goodness quotient--- is it raised via toasting?

in other random spewings, i found that if i take an alternate route home i get better reception for don & mike. how delightful.

i need a vacation.

this weekend, i:

visited home depot a total of 4 times (3 on saturday evening-- it was embarrassing).

stood a friend up for our Saturday plans to attend a local new age fair (that's right: new age).

bought leg warmers at target. how 1980.

spent at least 3 hours in my car each day, driving to and from. (i'm so sick of driving)

accomplished nothing at all.

had at least 5 fits of silly giggling.

and got VERY little sleep.

seems i am not allowed to access aim or even frankenperv from my work 'puter anymore. not sure when or why this happened but it is certainly making my daytime hours less enjoyable.... speaking of less enjoyable, i am quite sick of listening to the laundry lists of client problems, all the while trying to be positive and helpful. fuck social work and mostly, fuck today. i'd like to give today a big kick in the nuts.

so stop reading my bs and go check out this guy who has a great deal more zest for life than i at this moment. truly his list of ideas is, at the least, entertaining.

i'm watching tv tonight, laying on my couch, kitten on lap, and on comes this army commercial. a typical plea to attract youngsters to the various fields the us armed forces has to offer. they show this young guy collecting food from peers in his school lunch room and then delivering said food items to a homeless guy on the street just outside the urban school. then flash to a similar kid, a little older & more mature, in complete uniform, delivering truck loads of food to impoverished peoples of the world. the proud soldier's job title: LOADMASTER

last night, i kirked out at 9 o'clock. it felt so wrong to go to bed so early, but after falling asleep in front of the tv, bed was inevitable. i'm not even sure why i was so remarkably tired either----- maybe it's the feudin' with reagan that has me exhausted. so tired, in fact, that i have no snappy retorts. imagine that? *sigh* one day soon, she'll get her comeupins!

anyhow, it's friday and i am feeling as though nothing has been accomplished this week. i've got clients with multiple issues, calling for assistance, and ongoing work tasks that need attention. but here i am wasting time until lunch. aaaahhhh, the beauty of procrastinating.

happy weekend bitches!

i may or may not have found a new band. we'll see. i am still in the early assessment stages, but so far, all signs point to yes. it's just that i have issues incoorporating new tunes into my cd rotation-- inevitably getting stuck in these musical ruts. quite frankly, it's crippling. plus i have this intimate "get-to-know-you" process with new cds. very time-consuming. but anyway, they may be just what the doctor ordered.

about the only entertaining thing about last night was the witty daily show and viewing the halloween pics (i am truly be a piece of work).

i'm not digging on this daylight savings time. sure we got an extra hour of sleep on saturday, but at what price? to begin with, daylight savings time means i drive home in the DARK. and now i have the inconvenience of having to change any & all clocks that i come in contact with over the next few days. (sadly, i dont even know how to change my car clock) then there's the constant, nagging thought, "is that clock right?" the whole thing smacks of the man bringing me down.

in other "the man bringing me down" news, tomorrow is the election. i plan to--- as i hope you plan to--- vote. i am trying with all my might to raise some enthusiasm towards the process~ something that seems only fitting since the friends are all coming over to watch the daily show's special election coverage. (i heart jon stewart) but mostly i am thinking to myself, all the while humming "oo canada", "we're doomed."

on a lighter, more positive note, i'd like to give playing pool on the lunch break a shout out. really makes mondays more tolerable!