PosterNutbag

some days you wake up with a plan and within the first hour it all goes to shit. that's been my day thus far.

i was supposed to have a job interview this morning for this position i really might like to get. needlesstosay, i've been nervous about the interview for days-- even having some fucked up dreams about missing the appointment. so when this whole deal got canceled first thing this morning (the interviewer is sick, if you must know) you can imagine my chagrin. *sucks* prolonged butterflies...

what i am left with is no plan for the day. i suppose i could be running errands- truth is there is various issues which i have been putting off for MONTHS- or going to the gym or cleaning or laundry.... but none of that seems even remotely satisfying. quite honestly i feel like spending some money today which is a scarey since i am broke like a joke with no job. *sigh*

i do however have a hair appointment this afternoon..... i was thinking about just a trim but with this boredom maybe a new style is in order...... suggestions?

well with nothing else exciting to report i figured i'd link up this new blog that may or maynot turn into anything interesting. keith from over at
teaching the indie kids to dance has set up a audio blog. i dig the concept. at the moment there is nothing impressive up but it is something to watch. and hey, maybe you'll get a wild hair up your ass and call in a good sound-bite.

ooooooh and btw: saw fahrenheit 9/11 on monday.

so this past weekend the man caught up with me in the whole age-game and celebrated the big 2-6. i'd have to say the guy cleaned up big time-- getting more freakin' gifts and more freakin' birthday love than anyone should be allowed (i'm jealous). aside from the 40g ipod given to him by the folks and bro, he made out with some new shoes, new cds, gift certificates, a super-dope metronome-thingie, and an expensive pillow (cause no one should be thrifty when it comes to sleep comfort). And to wrap the whole thing up nice and tight was a surprise bowling party thrown by lil ol me that included a large group of the friends and family that make life worthwhile.

i figure there's not much better than bowling- especially when it includes a P-I-M-P alley complete with glow-in-the-dark pins and blacklights. and besides, i always need an excuse to do a little smack-talking! and smack-talk i did. i'd like report that i kicked some serious bowling ass, but truth is, i didn't win one single game. what i DID do was make a good showing of it and pull off some fairly decent frames (coupled with some highly distracted frames). besides, as hostess of the whole shin-dig there were people to introduce and conversations to interrupt....... oooh, and there were some drinks with my name on them too.

so bowling aside, the weekend festivities were set to last for a good 4-day run, as the man took off work, but then last night................. a foot was broken. the man's right extremity was injured in a skateboarding trick gone wrong.... alls i can say is thank god, it wasn't mine, 'cause i'm a HUGE fucking baby when it comes to pain.....

eh... spending the night in the emergency room is good for one thing and one thing only: people watching. and, as expected, there were some freaks! a token drunk girl crying her eyes out because she had been in a bar-fight with some chic, a woman who had been involved in some altercation with a dog, a pregnant woman who didn't look nearly as nervous as i would have been having to get "checked out" due to some complication, and a handful of skanky, smelly people there for god-knows-what. i tried to get the man to do some good wailing but he refused. and really, i'm just thankful that i didn't have to see any spurting blood. ick!

so anyway, he's hobbling around the house and i'm bored.......

new Fiona Apple song --leaked and presented here for your enjoyment... 'cause i'm always thinking about you.

(listen i know you guys are super-duper smart, but i just wanted to share: you have to right-click, select properties, then copy and paste the add-y in order to get the link)

for a little fun, google "miserable failure".

is it wrong to base how good your day will be around your underwear choices? well, if my undergarments are any indication of what the day has to hold, i will be both miserable and uncomfortable..... it's laundry day. plus i have no agenda other than cleaning and more cleaning. bluck to that! throw in some necessary ironing and i am truly in anguish.

in case you all had not heard i smell like a grandma..... or do I? i'd like to take a poll, and actually I have called multiple people on this issue (mostly the response has been "you're calling to ask me WHAT?!"), but i suppose most of you may not indeed have a formulated opinion of my odor. really, though, it's been a crisis which gives you some insight into my life. i suppose, i must start shopping around for a new scent. sad thing is, i like the scent i have. and hey, it's NOT patchouli so that's a step in the right direction.

the job hunt is beginning to move along. i actually have an interview scheduled for a position i'd very much like to get. *fingers crossed* and have been playing phone tag with another agency who wants to interview me as well. back-up plan: substitute teaching

so the last few days i have been filling in at the OWD, a little metaphysical shop in town, and, as always, it has been quite an experience. you can only imagine the fellas that are drawn to shop at such a place. a couple of weeks ago, a guy came in looking for relief from a "psychic vampire" that had him in his holds. this weekend a lady visited and kept having to step outside because the "vibrations of the crystals" were giving her a headache. even better, she called back yesterday and wanted me to pick her out a pair of kyanite earrings that i felt had "the best energy". (what pressure!) aside from all this, I spent each and every day entertaining a girl from town who had written a fan-fiction novel that incorporates harry potter & hogwarts, the power rangers, and herself as the shape-shifting main character............. mentally i'm drained! but i guess i should take some solace in the fact that multiple people told me what a bright, powerful aura i have.... hmm.... should have asked what they thought about my scent....

in conclusion: this weekend (sat) is the man's birthday and i can only hope it will be a good one. as the "significant other" i feel totally responsible to orchestrate a fun & memorable celebration, so here's hoping.....

Today is WV Day (whatever that means). Seems only fitting to pay tribute to this glorious state. Now pick up my trash, damnit!

my theme song-- today at least.

i like to go to the gym at night.... and by night i mean, like, 9-10 o'clock. this time has always treated me best. really, i think there are several reasons behind this. i won't get into the "i have more energy to push myself" bullshit, but i will say this: the people that are at the gym at this time, though few, bring me pure delight!

First you have your "strippers" .... undoubtedly getting in some last-minute stretching & tightening before their nightly performance. strangely enough, the one chic is always accompanied by this loser, scrawny guy (proving everyone has a chance). the really good part of the story is that he is the worst offender of the grunting & groaning as he lifts his weights. oooh the hilarity!

Then there are the "hardcore lifters", for lack of a better description.... these are the guys that are at the gym each and everytime i have EVER gone (despite the time of day, they are always there). i can only guess that these fools have decided to live their free hours--of which, apparently, are countless-- in the gym. or perhaps they are just the thrifty-est mother fuckers that ever lived. as an added bonus for me these guys wear tight, skimpy shorts and strut around with their chest out farther than even i can stick mine. (what's their secret? i must know)

Lastly, there is always a good showing of gym members in the pm crowd who have "let themselves go"... now, i would definitely put myself smack-dab in the middle of category- i can not lie. but i do take comfort in the fact that other fatties are there too- sweatin' along side of lil' ol' me. it seems that in the solace of the night we are free to get our work-out on without the ridicule of the skinny.

i'd say the only downfall of my new "gym at night" habit (can you call two nights in a row a habit?-- perhaps not), is getting all those adrenalin, good-stuff hormones going, only to come home and hit the sack. i haven't quite mastered the post-gym wind-down..... but i am getting better acquainted with late night talk shows. (which brings me to my final, not-gym-related observation: these 'Stepford Wives' actors are REALLY whoring themselves out! i protest that movie entirely)

as a (mostly) loving wife, there are still certain things that i consider completely off-limits. my toothbrush is definitely one of them! i can't even begin to describe how absolutely icky i think it is to share this item that so intimately mingles with one's saliva, plague, and food particles. so you can imagine my horror when i realized that i had inadvertently used the husband's toothbrush last night.

how could such an atrocity occur?, you ask. you see, prior to going on vacation, i chose a new toothbrush out of our neverending tooth-cleaning supply drawer (the father-in-law has a thing about clean teeth and is constantly stocking us up with the latest supplies). since the new brush was only used a handful of times before going away, i honestly couldn't remember which was mine upon return. (just to clarify: while on vacation i do not take a vacation from brushing my teeth... i actually have a "travel toothbrush"-- a spongebob one, if you must know.... makes me smile... helps me keep that lighthearted vacation feel even when performing the mundane tasks of everyday living. i highly recommend a travel toothbrush.)

i blame myself, really. using a non-gender specific color brush will do that to you. so today i ran right out to the grocery and bought both the man and i new, gender-colored toothbrushes. while mine was not contaminated in last night's incident, it had to go--- i can't have the daily reminder of such a gross occurrence.... actually, my new toothbrush is yellow......... yellow=caution. and it is with caution that i will brush from here on out.

i've developed some new habits these past few weeks. namely: a big ol' cup o' morning joe, Live! with Regis & Kelly, checking the blogger community, and looking in on my daily horoscope. such overviews have provided me some mild comic relief and today's i must share. i found it particularly troubling as i can only imagine that it contains a much deeper message:

Quickie:
Children are great, aren't they? They're funny and honest and full of crackers.

anywho.... back from vacation and there is much to say about vermont and my adventures. saw some great music that all deserves to be reviewed and analyzed. visited some interesting places that could use a mention (see pic below for just one of the many odd and wonderful items). and had several "in-law family encounters" that words can not begin to describe. all this said, i have no interest in even touching on these items today. at least not at this juncture. maybe later.

so let me just say this: the college friend has moved her site over to all 80's all the time and you should check in.

in other announcements, i am planning a soiree in celebration of the man's upcoming bday and couldn't think to not invite you all. it should be quite the throwdown, as i love to get rowdy, and you must email me direct for the 411.

oooooohh the cows! the fuzzy, little, fake cows!

it's been mentioned before that i hate packing and also it has been said that i strive on the fact that i am perpetually late each & everywhere i go. today, perhaps, those qualities have been put on their finest display ever. the time is now 4:15.... in 15 mins i am slated to pull away from the drive and head off to the jazz machine, collect the husband, and proceed to the in-laws'. at this time, i have infact dressed and begun packing....... i have had no lunch. i have not completed packing (there is music to get together and tolietries). my car needs gas. and i still have to go to the pharmacy to pick up necessary medicine (namely tylenol pm so i can sleep while on said travels-- i have issues) and swing by the post office to collect any mail (such that it doesn't get returned to sender... how sick is it that i have that 50-60's sock-hop song "return to sender" in my head now? very sick, indeed....)

so it is with this mass-confusion and mass-lateness that i leave you. signing off for a week of good stuff hippie-granola travels to the green mountain state. be good. and god bless.

(the god bless just sounded so right.)

in the spirit of a daily link i must share the following with you.... really people, this link is too good! ooooh and a big thank you to the college friend for turning me onto what is sure to be hours of entertainment.

W speechwriter

over the course of the weekend, and while i was laying my head elsewhere, 5 out of 8 of our mean-ass fish met their ultimate doom. it seems that some algae-reducer chemicals were added--- after having a fishtank for 4 years, we have become too lazy to actually CLEAN the damn thing--- and, sadly, the majority of the fish could not survive. i imagine they asphyxiated one-by-one. i can only wonder if the survivors feel remorse for their fallen friends. and if it was traumatizing having to swim amongst the dead for what surely would have seemed like an eternity. or perhaps those bastards are celebrating at the new-found freedom-- stalking out new territory boundaries and rejoicing in the wide-open spaces of a less-crowded tank.

now, i don't mess with the fish much and certainly i took no part in scooping out their lifeless carcasses (gross, gross, gross) .... in actuality, i don't even like the fish. they just seem like an awful lot of work for little-to-no reward. and when they all seemed to be dying, the husband mused aloud that i would not want to get the tank up and running again. truth be told, i did have images of reclaiming that corner of my living room. (what can i say, i'm a girl and the tank doesn't do much for the room decor) but, hey, he's gots to have some pleasure in this world and if a few little ooh-so quiet creatures inhabiting a glass box make that happen, then who am i to take that from him?!? i mean, i may be a bitch, but heartless i am not.

so, the tank lives to see another day........ as soon as these three get used to the space, it seems only fitting to add some more meanie-fish. wanna come watch them duke it out?!